I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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