If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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