He had one of those small greek statue penises
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
