just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
