At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize