I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
