He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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