I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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