I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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