dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
