I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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