You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
