At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Jerry, you need to find god
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
