First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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