I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize