Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
