i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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