He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
