This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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