My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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