hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
