I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize