If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
