is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
