I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
