Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
