at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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