Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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