I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
