We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
