she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
