Already got asked if we're dating
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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