I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
