When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
