Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
