I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
smell my finger.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
