he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
