i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My cat gives me a boner
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
