drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They have beer where we have blood.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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