Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
operation have a gay friend backfired
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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