I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
