This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
