He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
