And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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