i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Farmville is her only friend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
