i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
