Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
