Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
