so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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