Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
