why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I love you. Go after that dick
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