Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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