I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
