When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
