Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize