Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
