doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
