i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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