I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
