how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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