She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
