He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
